"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
Always the champion of primitive technology and tribal security, Oxbow LeBach and Associates is proud to announce our new line of Strategic Defensive Weapons. Nothing but the finest selection of collector-quality sticks and stones found here.
Don't wait until it's too late. Purchase your arsenal today.
Easy payment plan available. Make no payments until Armageddon!
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me."
But just in case Billy was wrong, we'll throw in twenty minutes of professional name-calling at no extra charge if you order today.
Place your order in the next 5 minutes and save $200 off our already unbelievably low prices!
